1
00:00:00,667 --> 00:00:02,700
[Music, elevator opens]

2
00:00:04,467 --> 00:00:07,300
Caroline Channing: A new one
Record Max, in 37 minutes
we it

3
00:00:07,333 --> 00:00:10,067
from the apartment to the subway and
from there to pastry school
done.

4
00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:13,067
I just forgot the bra
and the thong the wrong way around
dressed.

5
00:00:14,700 --> 00:00:17,500
Max Black: There is a thong
no front and back, he should
tweak

6
00:00:18,267 --> 00:00:19,533
and your bra is anyway is just

7
00:00:19,567 --> 00:00:21,333
Decoration. I'll get one
traffic ticket,

8
00:00:21,367 --> 00:00:23,233
when I don't have my babies
buckle up properly.

9
00:00:25,833 --> 00:00:27,133
See you inside, me
say goodbye

10
00:00:27,167 --> 00:00:28,200
me from my wife

11
00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:33,100
Did you think I wanted you?
kiss?

12
00:00:33,633 --> 00:00:36,200
Caroline Channing: Yes, I am
the wife and you the husband,
which I in

13
00:00:36,233 --> 00:00:37,167
caught my clothes

14
00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:38,700
but I won't say anything about it.

15
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:40,433
Bebe: Morning guys!

16
00:00:40,467 --> 00:00:41,367
Caroline Channing: Oh, hi Bebe.

17
00:00:41,700 --> 00:00:43,367
Bebe: Surprised that I'm here
am, right?

18
00:00:43,467 --> 00:00:45,567
Everyone thinks I'll survive
not another night

19
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:47,667
but here I am, surprised
from myself.

20
00:00:49,933 --> 00:00:52,300
Max Black: What's it like, with
to work for someone who
so mentally stable

21
00:00:52,333 --> 00:00:53,533
is, like a pretzel stick?

22
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:56,900
Caroline Channing: Not like that
funny as you think.

23
00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,167
But Bebe is cute and all
finance

24
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:01,100
we give you the training.

25
00:01:01,267 --> 00:01:01,900
Max Black: Alright, see you then!

26
00:01:01,933 --> 00:01:02,733
Caroline Channing: See you then!

27
00:01:03,533 --> 00:01:04,500
Max Black: I want those
Divorce.

28
00:01:04,633 --> 00:01:05,600
Caroline Channing: Bereits
submitted!

29
00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:14,633
[Intro music]

30
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,533
Max Black: Hey, woman! I
need 5 dollars for one
Spatula I

31
00:01:21,567 --> 00:01:22,533
have broken.

32
00:01:22,567 --> 00:01:24,667
I had one yesterday
Gordon Ramsay moment.

33
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,867
I would like to go with him
sleep.

34
00:01:29,900 --> 00:01:32,167
Caroline Channing: Why? He
would scream at you and you
say,

35
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:33,500
that you are doing everything wrong.

36
00:01:35,033 --> 00:01:36,000
Max Black: Ja, Sex!

37
00:01:37,767 --> 00:01:39,133
Caroline Channing: The money is
in meiner Tasche.

38
00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:42,033
Max Black: Yo, Bebe, you did
noch 'ne Pille übrig?

39
00:01:43,933 --> 00:01:45,300
Bebe: Nein. Ich brauch' alle.

40
00:01:46,567 --> 00:01:47,867
Caroline Channing: Oh my
Gott, nein!

41
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:50,167
Max Black: What? I just wanted
eine oder zwei

42
00:01:50,467 --> 00:01:52,833
and come down at 3:00
o'clock will be my cupcakes
evaluated.

43
00:01:53,733 --> 00:01:55,600
Caroline Channing: No, me
I mean the obituary here.

44
00:01:55,733 --> 00:01:57,133
Ich kenne diese Frau.

45
00:01:58,233 --> 00:02:01,900
Max Black: "Antonia Florentino,
80, died peacefully in
Sleep."

46
00:02:02,133 --> 00:02:03,267
This is suicide, right?

47
00:02:08,867 --> 00:02:10,000
Caroline Channing: She was
my nanny.

48
00:02:11,033 --> 00:02:12,500
Bebe: You still have a nanny?

49
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,467
You, lucky ones.

50
00:02:16,100 --> 00:02:18,500
Caroline Channing: She has herself
cared about me when I
was small.

51
00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:20,333
I loved her so much.

52
00:02:20,467 --> 00:02:22,433
Max Black: I'm really sorry.
That's how it went

53
00:02:22,467 --> 00:02:24,167
me with my old neighbor,
Carla.

54
00:02:24,533 --> 00:02:25,800
She didn't care
me

55
00:02:25,833 --> 00:02:28,500
but I was allowed out as a child
drink from your garden hose.

56
00:02:30,033 --> 00:02:32,033
Caroline Channing: On hers
Antonia brought me last day

57
00:02:32,133 --> 00:02:35,033
and an unkempt Nelly
Furtado to the Teen Choise
Awards.

58
00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:38,233
Bebe: Oh, can we join now?
of work

59
00:02:38,267 --> 00:02:39,967
cry? I'll do it otherwise
car.

60
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,467
Caroline Channing: Max, right now
I realize something.

61
00:02:51,233 --> 00:02:54,367
This is the first time that I
I've been here since my nanny died
is.

62
00:02:54,567 --> 00:02:56,400
Max Black: You already have that in
said the chip shop

63
00:02:58,033 --> 00:03:01,233
and shortly after that you have it
said again, in the other
Fries shop.

64
00:03:02,433 --> 00:03:04,633
Caroline Channing: Come on
a little more sensitive, I have
cried,

65
00:03:04,667 --> 00:03:08,000
because my nanny is dead and
because our mourning brunch in the

66
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:09,300
Fries shop was.

67
00:03:10,567 --> 00:03:12,467
Earl: Caroline, your nanny is
deceased?

68
00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,867
You have my sympathy, that is
really a shame

69
00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:17,567
but there is nothing better
as a black burial.

70
00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:20,300
I still have a hangover
my grandfather's in 1984.

71
00:03:22,367 --> 00:03:23,833
Caroline Channing: Uh, mine
Nanny was white.

72
00:03:23,967 --> 00:03:26,833
Earl: Your nanny was white?
Child, you were really rich.

73
00:03:28,767 --> 00:03:30,933
Caroline Channing: Do you have Han
seen? The funeral is
tomorrow

74
00:03:30,967 --> 00:03:31,500
in Philadelphia,

75
00:03:31,533 --> 00:03:32,633
he has to release me.

76
00:03:32,667 --> 00:03:33,933
Earl: I thought I had

77
00:03:33,967 --> 00:03:35,967
but it was probably just that
another cat.

78
00:03:38,333 --> 00:03:39,600
Max Black: Hey, I'll be mine
also take time off.

79
00:03:39,767 --> 00:03:41,067
I'm going along as a moral one
assistance

80
00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:42,500
and to eat a cheesesteak

81
00:03:42,533 --> 00:03:44,867
and around the Liberty Bell like
to ride a wrecking ball.

82
00:03:46,533 --> 00:03:47,433
Han Lee: Here's a totally

83
00:03:47,467 --> 00:03:49,100
crazy article in
PopularScience

84
00:03:49,133 --> 00:03:51,667
about white dwarfs, black ones
holes and liquids.

85
00:03:54,433 --> 00:03:55,733
Oh no. That was a mistake.

86
00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:58,367
Caroline Channing: Han, us
need

87
00:03:58,400 --> 00:03:59,867
tomorrow free. My nanny is
died,

88
00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:00,800
she was like a mother to
me.

89
00:04:01,733 --> 00:04:02,400
Han Lee: But she wasn't
Your mother

90
00:04:02,433 --> 00:04:03,833
and the diner rule is,

91
00:04:03,867 --> 00:04:06,167
They are only released when they die
of a family member.

92
00:04:06,433 --> 00:04:07,733
Max Black: Well, in the
There are also regulations

93
00:04:07,767 --> 00:04:09,933
"no alcohol during the
layer" but...

94
00:04:14,067 --> 00:04:15,633
Han Lee: Okay, yes, you can
go because

95
00:04:15,667 --> 00:04:17,167
it in my culture a lot
is important,

96
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,300
to honor the elder. I have
me my bunk bed

97
00:04:19,333 --> 00:04:21,600
shared with a 100 year old
until I was 22.

98
00:04:22,467 --> 00:04:24,000
Max Black: Were you upstairs or
were you downstairs?

99
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:26,900
Han Lee: I was always at the bottom.

100
00:04:33,167 --> 00:04:34,567
Oh no, that was a mistake.

101
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:38,467
Sophie Kachinsky: Hey,
Caroline. I

102
00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:40,300
received the news of his death
your nanny.

103
00:04:40,467 --> 00:04:42,467
So I wore black
out of respect.

104
00:04:42,567 --> 00:04:45,133
Other than that, I have mine
period.

105
00:04:47,033 --> 00:04:49,033
Caroline Channing: Thank you
Sophie, that's so sweet.

106
00:04:49,067 --> 00:04:50,433
Max Black: Oh, yeah? Which
part?

107
00:04:51,733 --> 00:04:54,667
Sophie Kachinsky: Back in
Poland as my nanny
is different,

108
00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:58,767
I was so deeply sad that
I almost couldn't eat them.

109
00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:10,033
Caroline Channing: You did
ate your dead nanny?

110
00:05:10,433 --> 00:05:12,433
Sophie Kachinsky: Well, one
Goat is a goat.

111
00:05:12,667 --> 00:05:14,500
It doesn't matter how you like it
denote,

112
00:05:14,667 --> 00:05:16,700
it's still good
Goat meat.

113
00:05:18,133 --> 00:05:20,400
Well, I'm at my table.

114
00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:24,467
I want one
Tuna sandwich and three
Painkillers please.

115
00:05:26,533 --> 00:05:27,867
Caroline Channing: How come
are we actually there?

116
00:05:27,967 --> 00:05:30,300
Oh, Bebe has a car, we do
you can ask.

117
00:05:30,633 --> 00:05:32,333
Max Black: I'm scared, too
to get her into a car.

118
00:05:32,367 --> 00:05:33,833
I'm already afraid, too
to speak to her.

119
00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:36,133
Oleg: I could drive you.

120
00:05:36,233 --> 00:05:38,300
We just have to at mine
Sister in Bucks County

121
00:05:38,333 --> 00:05:39,967
an inconspicuous package
pick up and

122
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,833
as quickly as possible
Bring Connecticut.

123
00:05:43,367 --> 00:05:44,933
Caroline Channing: Oleg, that
sounds illegal.

124
00:05:44,967 --> 00:05:46,133
What's in the package?

125
00:05:46,167 --> 00:05:47,667
Oleg: No, they're just a couple
Shoes

126
00:05:47,967 --> 00:05:49,367
filled with cocaine

127
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,600
and the shoes themselves consist
from hashish.

128
00:05:54,633 --> 00:05:55,567
Caroline Channing: I ask
Bebe.

129
00:05:55,767 --> 00:05:56,633
Max Black: But I'm sitting
behind.

130
00:05:57,733 --> 00:05:58,633
I don't want that
Crazy woman jumps at me.

131
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:04,333
Caroline Channing: Bebe, me
thank you

132
00:06:04,367 --> 00:06:06,200
thank you very much for coming to us
Drive to the funeral.

133
00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:09,967
We only drive "20", you can
also like to drive faster.

134
00:06:10,667 --> 00:06:12,533
Max Black: Yes, we were from
overtaken by a tree.

135
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:14,667
Caroline Channing: But on
most beautiful

136
00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:16,467
I think that your cocker is us
spaniel,

137
00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:18,333
the rash and flatulence
has, accompanied.

138
00:06:20,433 --> 00:06:22,533
Caroline Channing: Okay, now
we drive over 100.

139
00:06:22,567 --> 00:06:24,167
You are also welcome to slow down
drive.

140
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,700
Bebe: Uh, sorry.
Extreme, that's my thing!

141
00:06:27,100 --> 00:06:29,100
I'll be back for a day
Tokyo drawn.

142
00:06:30,667 --> 00:06:31,933
Caroline Channing: I love it
just met again.

143
00:06:32,467 --> 00:06:34,467
Max Black: I feared them
feeds him broccoli.

144
00:06:36,433 --> 00:06:39,033
Caroline Channing: No, that
Antonia is really dead.

145
00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:41,533
Max Black: Yes, the good one
Message is that the
Funeral

146
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:44,100
around the corner from the famous one
Cheesesteak shop takes place.

147
00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:46,300
Caroline Channing: Max, show
some respect!

148
00:06:46,333 --> 00:06:47,567
Max Black: What? I knew her
not,

149
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:48,833
for me she will always be the one
be a lady,

150
00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:50,600
who gave me a cheesesteak
has united.

151
00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:52,867
Caroline Channing: I have it
never met

152
00:06:52,900 --> 00:06:55,567
but her family will
I'm happy about that
funeral go

153
00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:56,433
and out of respect.

154
00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:58,767
Bebe: My therapist will
also happy.

155
00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:00,900
I have my safety zone
abandoned and only one dog
there.

156
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,400
Caroline Channing: Max, should
I in addition to mine
Eulogy

157
00:07:04,433 --> 00:07:06,433
something from my childhood diary
read aloud?

158
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,767
Max Black: You shouldn't,
but you will do it anyway.

159
00:07:09,533 --> 00:07:11,833
Caroline Channing:
"Christmas Morning 1997:

160
00:07:12,133 --> 00:07:14,233
Antonia gave me hot
Cocoa and mine

161
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,933
Favorite peppermint cookies
woken up,

162
00:07:15,967 --> 00:07:17,033
Afterwards there were presents."

163
00:07:17,667 --> 00:07:19,500
Max Black: “Christmas morning
1997:

164
00:07:19,533 --> 00:07:21,533
I gave Mom some cold water
face poured"

165
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:23,800
"New Year's Day: Still none
emotion."

166
00:07:25,067 --> 00:07:27,833
Caroline Channing: Oh, that is
the only one

167
00:07:27,867 --> 00:07:29,333
Photo of us that is still left
is.

168
00:07:29,900 --> 00:07:32,733
That was our first
shared Halloween, I was
four.

169
00:07:32,967 --> 00:07:35,967
Look at this incredible
sweet chick costume that she gave me

170
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,700
has made. Beep beep

171
00:07:38,867 --> 00:07:40,400
Bebe: Oh, how sweet.

172
00:07:40,567 --> 00:07:41,833
Max Black: Car!

173
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:45,867
I never had one
Halloween costume.

174
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,667
I have confused hopes
Staggered door to door

175
00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:50,833
And have the people
made to believe that I was mine
mother.

176
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,967
Bebe: Went last Halloween
me as my doctor Michel.

177
00:07:54,533 --> 00:07:57,333
And my little buddy here
as his lover Joseph.

178
00:07:58,500 --> 00:07:59,700
Was a failure.

179
00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:03,067
Caroline Channing: Antonia was
always there for me.

180
00:08:03,300 --> 00:08:05,867
Halloween, Christmas, East,
on the holidays,

181
00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:08,733
Actually, every day. She was
really like a mother to
me.

182
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,467
Bebe: And your real mother?

183
00:08:10,733 --> 00:08:13,200
Max Black: Hey, what can he do?
Dog like that except farting and
be sad?

184
00:08:13,433 --> 00:08:15,133
She had an affair and became
violated.

185
00:08:15,167 --> 00:08:16,800
That's her sore point, isn't it?
lick it.

186
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:21,067
Caroline Channing: It's okay,
Max, I have no protection
necessary.

187
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:22,700
Max Black: You don't need one
Protection? Who are you?

188
00:08:22,733 --> 00:08:23,900
Anyone I've ever dated?

189
00:08:25,267 --> 00:08:26,933
Caroline Channing: Bebe, yes,
my mother was unfaithful and there
has

190
00:08:26,967 --> 00:08:30,100
my father threw her out.
But I had Antonia, that
around

191
00:08:30,133 --> 00:08:31,767
I cared. She was mine
family.

192
00:08:32,133 --> 00:08:34,400
Bebe: Definitely not
easy, everyone needs one
mother.

193
00:08:34,433 --> 00:08:36,300
I would go crazy without it
my mother.

194
00:08:37,067 --> 00:08:39,067
She drives me to all of my places
appointments.

195
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:40,933
Max Black: But you're driving
yourself.

196
00:08:41,467 --> 00:08:44,433
Bebe: Yes, but I should
actually not.

197
00:08:47,833 --> 00:08:50,433
[music]

198
00:08:51,567 --> 00:08:53,900
Caroline Channing: Yes it is
okay, that Bebe is waiting in the car,
right?

199
00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:55,900
At least we have that
Window left open.

200
00:08:56,667 --> 00:08:58,700
Max Black: And she has one
She has a bowl and a chewing bone
also.

201
00:09:01,267 --> 00:09:02,733
Caroline Channing: Well, wear
us.

202
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,367
Max, I have to keep my composure
when I meet the family.

203
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:09,267
I'm not allowed to be so emotional
be. Oh, look how mine is
hand

204
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:11,033
trembles. This is terrible.

205
00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:13,100
[Caroline coughs]

206
00:09:15,667 --> 00:09:17,433
Caroline Channing: What? That was
a terrible signature

207
00:09:17,467 --> 00:09:20,000
and there were only 5 on the side
other names. Become the thing
go.

208
00:09:21,533 --> 00:09:23,500
Max Black: Get rid of that thing?
Who are you? Everyone,

209
00:09:23,533 --> 00:09:24,700
who I've ever had anything with?

210
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:29,300
Caroline Channing: Caroline
Channing, this is Max.

211
00:09:30,333 --> 00:09:33,600
Oh, just look at the flowers and
all of that.

212
00:09:33,633 --> 00:09:34,800
Really beautiful.

213
00:09:34,833 --> 00:09:35,700
Max: Done!

214
00:09:36,833 --> 00:09:39,133
Caroline Channing: Your name is
"Phil E. Cheesesteak"?

215
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,700
Max Black: I was allowed to do it
don't mention this anymore
serves

216
00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:44,933
me as a reminder.

217
00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:48,133
Caroline Channing: Okay, Max,
There will be a lot of people soon

218
00:09:48,167 --> 00:09:50,767
my attention
claim, so please be
patiently

219
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:53,000
and stay close, so that
I can lean on it and if so

220
00:09:53,033 --> 00:09:55,133
someone starts to too much
cry, then push him away.

221
00:09:55,167 --> 00:09:57,533
There should be no tears on this
Dress, I have to have it by nine o'clock

222
00:09:57,567 --> 00:09:58,600
return again.

223
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,567
Crying Woman: You're here!

224
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:02,833
Caroline Channing: Here we go,
Max.

225
00:10:08,467 --> 00:10:10,167
Crying Woman: I had
actually meant him.

226
00:10:15,533 --> 00:10:17,900
Caroline Channing: But
of course, this day is
difficult for all of us.

227
00:10:20,967 --> 00:10:22,967
Max Black: That was real
violent.

228
00:10:27,067 --> 00:10:30,233
Caroline Channing: Oh, Max,
Just look, that's Antonia.

229
00:10:30,467 --> 00:10:32,167
Max Black: Oh, she sees
really nice looking.

230
00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:34,600
Caroline Channing: She was.
I didn't know she was at

231
00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:37,900
was military. But that explains
why my bed is always so perfect

232
00:10:37,933 --> 00:10:38,867
was made.

233
00:10:40,133 --> 00:10:41,700
Max Black: You didn't know
that your nanny was a Marine?

234
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,867
I would have hit it
"Yo, other rich kid,

235
00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:46,500
my nanny will break yours
neck."

236
00:10:47,467 --> 00:10:50,167
Caroline Channing: Oh, look
only, her sisters Cecilia and

237
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:54,567
Angela. And these are theirs
nieces and nephews and there is

238
00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:58,967
no photo of me. Oh, my
Image will be in the coffin

239
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,367
with the other VIPs.

240
00:11:02,867 --> 00:11:04,900
Max Black: Then there is
Champagne instead of holy water?

241
00:11:06,267 --> 00:11:09,467
Anthony: Hello ladies, me
am Anthony, Antonia's nephew.

242
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,467
A sad day, huh?

243
00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:12,633
Caroline Channing: Yes, that is
it!

244
00:11:13,267 --> 00:11:15,900
Anthony: Oh, a good remedy
against my sadness.

245
00:11:15,933 --> 00:11:20,300
Caroline Channing: Oh, Anthony!
Stop it, we're family.

246
00:11:20,333 --> 00:11:21,700
I'm Caroline Channing.

247
00:11:21,733 --> 00:11:23,867
Anthony: You're Caroline
"hot", as far as I know.

248
00:11:25,567 --> 00:11:27,900
Are you provided for or need
you cash envelopes?

249
00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:30,833
Max Black: Uh, I need
always cash envelopes.

250
00:11:31,867 --> 00:11:33,767
Caroline Channing: Uh, sorry
sorry, and envelopes for what?

251
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,067
Anthony: With Italian ones
Wakes are given to the family

252
00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:38,500
a donation after you sign up
looked at the dead man.

253
00:11:38,533 --> 00:11:39,767
Nicolas: So, pay-per-view?

254
00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:42,867
Anthony: It was really good?

255
00:11:43,867 --> 00:11:45,700
Do you want mine later?
See a stamp?

256
00:11:46,967 --> 00:11:48,967
Caroline Channing: We're driving
then immediately back, but yes,

257
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,000
Anthony, thank you. We take
an envelope.

258
00:11:52,333 --> 00:11:56,900
The body is right there
front. Just go straight ahead.

259
00:11:57,167 --> 00:12:00,567
Caroline Channing: Anthony, listen
up! I'm nervous. I have

260
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:02,100
never a corpse before
seen.

261
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:05,300
Max Black: Me, lots of one
A few went into my account.

262
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:08,533
Caroline Channing: I have
no cash, do you have anything with you?

263
00:12:08,733 --> 00:12:10,100
Max Black: I'll check mine
Wallet.

264
00:12:12,067 --> 00:12:13,267
This is a real ziplock,

265
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:14,533
none of the fake ones.

266
00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:19,033
Caroline Channing: Stick well
to make people think

267
00:12:19,067 --> 00:12:20,267
That's just a quarter of a dollar
inside.

268
00:12:21,833 --> 00:12:24,500
Max, we're next. I
I'm scared, hold my hand.

269
00:12:24,533 --> 00:12:26,833
Max Black: Holding hands? Who
are you? Every guy I ever

270
00:12:26,867 --> 00:12:27,933
dumped?

271
00:12:30,367 --> 00:12:31,833
Caroline Channing: Bitte, Max,
I'm nervous.

272
00:12:31,867 --> 00:12:33,100
Max Black: Oh, Gott.

273
00:12:33,133 --> 00:12:33,900
Caroline Channing: Thank you.

274
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,200
Max Black: So, give it back.
What? I've never had one like this
long

275
00:12:37,233 --> 00:12:40,367
had a relationship. Apart from that
The money has to come from that

276
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,533
into the envelope.

277
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:49,767
Caroline Channing: Oh, her
looks so peaceful. Hi
Antonia,

278
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,900
It's me, Caroline. Should I
kiss her?

279
00:12:53,333 --> 00:12:55,933
The family sees here and that
Lady in front of us kissed her.

280
00:12:56,367 --> 00:12:58,233
Max Black: Give it your all, me
don't think they are
defends.

281
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:03,567
Caroline Channing: Okay, me
count to three: 1, 2...

282
00:13:04,433 --> 00:13:06,167
No, Max hold my hand
while I...

283
00:13:09,467 --> 00:13:13,067
What should we do? No, hands
gone, we wanted it

284
00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:14,367
donate anyway.

285
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:16,267
Max Black: Not all of it,
these are the cheesesteak mice.

286
00:13:16,533 --> 00:13:20,900
Caroline Channing: Leave it alone
be, come! I'm heartbroken,

287
00:13:20,933 --> 00:13:23,367
I apologize very much. I
I'm a pure bundle of nerves,

288
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:24,233
You understand.

289
00:13:24,467 --> 00:13:26,433
Cecilia: I am Cecilia,
Antonia...

290
00:13:26,467 --> 00:13:29,433
Caroline Channing: sister,
I know you see her that way
similar.

291
00:13:29,467 --> 00:13:30,767
I'm Caroline.

292
00:13:32,833 --> 00:13:34,300
Cecilia: Caroline, who?

293
00:13:35,167 --> 00:13:37,333
Caroline Channing: Oh, Caroline
Channing.

294
00:13:39,867 --> 00:13:41,933
Cecilia: Caroline Channing, who?

295
00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:45,000
Caroline Channing: You have
just a lot to process,

296
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:47,567
understandable. It was a
emotional day for all of us.

297
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:49,233
Cecilia: Who is the little one?

298
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:52,267
You, I think I know you
from somewhere.

299
00:13:52,733 --> 00:13:55,133
Aren't you Ricky's girlfriend?
from Rochester?

300
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,000
Max Black: Could be that
jumps out for me.

301
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,067
Caroline Channing: Antonia has
cared about me as much as I did

302
00:14:02,100 --> 00:14:03,333
was small.

303
00:14:03,367 --> 00:14:07,733
Oh, Antonia was your babysitter.
Very nice of you to come.

304
00:14:09,033 --> 00:14:11,567
Caroline Channing: She was comfortable
hardly a babysitter, she was

305
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:15,533
there for me for ten years,
every day. Caroline, Caroline
Channing.

306
00:14:16,033 --> 00:14:19,767
Cecilia: I'm sorry but I
don't know who you are,
Sweetheart.

307
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:23,100
Even if you relentlessly
try to put your name in mine

308
00:14:23,133 --> 00:14:27,633
to chisel head. Sorry
Tell me, I need one

309
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:30,833
Cigarette. And after that I will
lots of pennies

310
00:14:30,867 --> 00:14:34,200
stealing from my sister
have to. This is a coffin

311
00:14:34,533 --> 00:14:36,300
and no wishing well.

312
00:14:36,767 --> 00:14:39,633
[music]

313
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,500
Caroline Channing: This one
The funeral is probably full
depressing.

314
00:14:45,867 --> 00:14:48,600
Max Black: Totally, one of those
Corpse in the room is usually a

315
00:14:48,633 --> 00:14:51,867
Mood killer. Except for one
Irish wake,

316
00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:53,700
we would now play “beer pong”
play on the coffin.

317
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,733
Caroline Channing: No, me
don't understand how it's possible
is,

318
00:14:56,767 --> 00:14:59,700
that the family doesn't know anything about me
white. Antonia never has anything

319
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:01,100
told about me?

320
00:15:01,133 --> 00:15:03,100
Max Black: Let's think about that
Positive. Anthony found yours
Ass

321
00:15:03,133 --> 00:15:03,933
awesome.

322
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:07,400
Caroline Channing: I know something
Antonia and I had.

323
00:15:07,833 --> 00:15:11,033
And exactly this: "beep,
"beep." We had that.

324
00:15:12,033 --> 00:15:13,000
Max Black: That's a lot.

325
00:15:14,433 --> 00:15:16,067
Caroline Channing: But those
Family doesn't seem to agree
care.

326
00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:18,333
It's a shame, I had one
really great eulogy.

327
00:15:18,933 --> 00:15:20,233
Old woman: Really?

328
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:22,900
Caroline Channing: Yes, it is
that. Would you like me to have her
with you

329
00:15:22,933 --> 00:15:23,867
share?

330
00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:25,233
Old woman: I actually want that
absolutely.

331
00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:28,367
Max Black: You can't do that
old lady not with yours
Eulogy

332
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:29,800
bomb. Leave that.

333
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,233
Caroline Channing: She says
that they hear my eulogy
wants.

334
00:15:32,267 --> 00:15:34,367
Max Black: She's 100, she
I'm sure you think you're talking about

335
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:35,500
a grave caretaker.

336
00:15:37,100 --> 00:15:38,900
Old woman: Do you have a pen?
You

337
00:15:38,933 --> 00:15:41,667
says she has a great one
Grave caretaker.

338
00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:45,067
Caroline Channing: No, ma'am,
I don't have grave care,

339
00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:47,633
but said eulogy. One
really great eulogy.

340
00:15:47,967 --> 00:15:50,767
Old woman: Why should you?
give the eulogy?

341
00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:54,533
Caroline Channing: Because I
am Caroline Channing.

342
00:15:54,833 --> 00:15:55,800
Old woman: Who?

343
00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:00,167
Caroline Channing: Caroline
Channing. Caroline Channing.

344
00:16:00,967 --> 00:16:04,767
Antonia was my nanny. Mine
Family was rich but then

345
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:06,500
my father fooled everyone
cut and we were

346
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:09,633
to the leprosy of society.
That was just about it back then

347
00:16:09,667 --> 00:16:11,767
topped that Mel Gibson
hates Jews. It is impossible

348
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:13,133
that you don't know anymore.

349
00:16:14,567 --> 00:16:17,867
Old woman: Honey, me
I don't even remember anymore

350
00:16:17,900 --> 00:16:19,400
how I got here.

351
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,167
Caroline Channing: I get it
just not. Have for years
I

352
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:27,867
trying to believe in it
that if already your own
mother

353
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:31,033
not able to myself
love, at least Antonia
does.

354
00:16:31,667 --> 00:16:34,100
Now I'm sitting here and
realize that no one wants me
loved.

355
00:16:34,133 --> 00:16:36,500
I was just a paycheck.
One of many children

356
00:16:36,533 --> 00:16:39,467
that took care of her. I know
not why I came here
am.

357
00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:41,633
I'll go to that again
Toilet, then we can go.

358
00:16:46,167 --> 00:16:49,533
Max Black: Excuse me
please. Hi, Max, Ricky's girl.

359
00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:53,833
I know this is a hard one
Time for you but it is too
one

360
00:16:53,867 --> 00:16:56,633
difficult time for mine
girlfriend. And even if you never
from her

361
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:59,533
heard, maybe could
you go over and tell her

362
00:16:59,567 --> 00:17:02,433
They would remember and
Antonia would have mentioned her.

363
00:17:02,467 --> 00:17:05,200
I know it's the opposite
case and it would be a lie.

364
00:17:06,633 --> 00:17:09,000
I would also compensate you
but my pension contributions

365
00:17:09,033 --> 00:17:10,833
lie in the box on yours
Sister.

366
00:17:12,567 --> 00:17:14,633
Cecilia: Listen, both of you
here

367
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,400
were tolerated at all,

368
00:17:16,867 --> 00:17:20,633
is because your Ricky is like that
was nicer to Uncle Joe than he was
back then

369
00:17:20,667 --> 00:17:24,933
fell from the roof. But
now you have to go.

370
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:30,833
Max Black: Okay, like you
want. But Ricky drives Uncle
Joe

371
00:17:30,867 --> 00:17:32,300
definitely no longer on dialysis.

372
00:17:39,133 --> 00:17:40,600
Caroline Channing: Max, what
are you doing that?

373
00:17:40,733 --> 00:17:42,167
Max Black: The family remembers
yourself

374
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:43,633
again. I should hang it up.

375
00:17:44,433 --> 00:17:46,533
Caroline Channing: Oh, my
God. You hang up my photo,

376
00:17:46,567 --> 00:17:48,667
to cheer me up? I am
such a heap of misery?

377
00:17:49,367 --> 00:17:53,600
Max Black: Kind of. This
Photo belongs there.

378
00:17:53,633 --> 00:17:56,567
Who wouldn't have this child?
would you like to know? I was happy

379
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:58,867
Antonia. Please look for us
not home.

380
00:17:59,833 --> 00:18:01,867
Now there's a big portion
Cheesesteaks.

381
00:18:02,033 --> 00:18:03,100
Caroline Channing: Max, please
do it

382
00:18:03,133 --> 00:18:04,900
down. It is real
embarrassing,

383
00:18:04,933 --> 00:18:06,933
nobody here has any idea
who am I?

384
00:18:07,567 --> 00:18:09,567
Meg: You don't have me either
known, chick.

385
00:18:09,767 --> 00:18:11,367
Max Black: Hey, who do you call
here chicks?

386
00:18:12,433 --> 00:18:15,033
Caroline Channing: Me, that
was Antonia's pet name for me.

387
00:18:15,067 --> 00:18:16,467
Do you know who I am?

388
00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:20,167
Meg: Of course I do.
Antonia's little chick, you
“Beep.”

389
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:25,400
She loved you. Same
like this cute one
Chick costume.

390
00:18:25,433 --> 00:18:28,100
The whole kitchen table has
glued and was full of feathers

391
00:18:28,133 --> 00:18:31,567
and sequins. But she has
wanted her so much

392
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:35,167
sparkle. She has you like that
loved. I would never have dared
me to

393
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,333
complain.

394
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:38,900
Caroline Channing: I'm sorry
sorry, how did you feel?
Name?

395
00:18:38,933 --> 00:18:42,333
Meg: I'm Meg O'hara, me
was her roommate. And hers

396
00:18:42,367 --> 00:18:45,967
Beloved. We were 30 years
together.

397
00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:48,900
Max and Caroline: The military!

398
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:59,433
Meg: Unbelievable, right? I
my, I beg you. That's me
I,

399
00:18:59,467 --> 00:19:03,533
as I put an arm around her
a tank. And the family

400
00:19:03,567 --> 00:19:05,300
It still doesn't have it
strapped?

401
00:19:06,267 --> 00:19:08,267
Max Black: Vintage lesbians, very much
cool.

402
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,067
Meg: I know that Toni
would have wanted you to
get here.

403
00:19:14,700 --> 00:19:17,667
Oh, thank you for coming
are, chicks.

404
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:21,233
You're probably the only one
person in the world,

405
00:19:21,633 --> 00:19:23,933
who loved her just as much,
like me.

406
00:19:29,133 --> 00:19:34,767
Caroline Channing: Ah, Max,
just look. Christmas and mine

407
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:37,667
Birthday and the Teen Choice
Awards.

408
00:19:43,533 --> 00:19:45,067
Man: My deepest condolences.

409
00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:50,400
Max Black: Thank you!

410
00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:55,267
[music]

411
00:19:56,033 --> 00:19:57,800
Max Black: Philly Cheesesteaks
for everyone!

412
00:19:58,567 --> 00:20:00,600
Caroline Channing: Just someone
the two hours in the Chevy

413
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:03,000
with nine cheesesteaks and one
sat on a farting animal,

414
00:20:03,033 --> 00:20:03,933
has lived.

415
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,533
Max Black: What? I have mine
ate in the car.

416
00:20:07,333 --> 00:20:09,800
Earl, the funeral was the
Hammer. You missed something.

417
00:20:09,833 --> 00:20:12,400
There were hot 80 year olds and
they had lots of pills

418
00:20:12,433 --> 00:20:13,533
there to throw in.

419
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,733
Earl: Sweetie, my age
you don't even go near it
from

420
00:20:16,767 --> 00:20:19,833
Funerals. You doze off for a moment
and you're six hours away

421
00:20:19,867 --> 00:20:21,967
busy seeing you again
to dig up.

422
00:20:25,867 --> 00:20:28,067
Max Black: Hey, how are you,
Chicks?

423
00:20:28,633 --> 00:20:30,800
Caroline Channing: I'm fine
good, thank you. And Max if I

424
00:20:30,833 --> 00:20:33,033
I don't care who dies
my funeral is coming,

425
00:20:33,067 --> 00:20:34,300
as long as you're there.

426
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:36,467
Max Black: The murderer is coming
always. He has to tell the cops
his

427
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:37,900
Get off the trail, got it?

428
00:20:39,100 --> 00:20:40,700
Caroline Channing: And no
Coffin, save yourself the money.

429
00:20:40,733 --> 00:20:43,267
Push me into the hole with someone
Dior costume and smokey eyes.

430
00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:45,200
Unless I'm fat, then
burn me.

431
00:20:46,233 --> 00:20:48,433
Max Black: I don't want any
Funeral. When I die,

432
00:20:48,467 --> 00:20:50,667
stuff my corpse in one
Cannon and shoot me directly

433
00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:51,800
to the Trump Casino.

434
00:20:52,733 --> 00:20:59,267
[Music]